Dear Reader,
Yesterday’s post about encopresis was an important one but this one is even more important. I’ve worked with children in both a paid and voluntary capacity for over 15 years and this post is about something that had never properly occurred to me until almost two weeks ago. Let me tell you what happened.
It was a Friday afternoon, about 5.15pm and I was sat at the kitchen table chopping potatoe wedges for our dinner. My phone rang. It was a friend who I work with as a volunteer. She told me she had some very bad news. The phone call lasted a matter of minutes and after we had hung up I sat there staring into space asking myself whether what she had told me could possibly be true. It changed my outlook. It changed my perspective. It changed me.
The news she delivered that afternoon was that a child we both knew through our volunteer work had taken their own life. It was both shocking and devastating news. It was hard to imagine how something like this could happen. So, what I want to write about today is child mental health and wellbeing. If you think you might ever come into contact with children in whatever capacity you can be a gatekeeper. A gatekeeper is someone who helps to guard the gateways of childrens’ lives.
I think we focus a lot on safeguarding and recognising signs of abuse. That is really important and we shouldn’t stop doing that. I would like to see us add to that and to be aware of childrens’ mental health and wellbeing. I would like us to put it on our radar. I think we could help some children better if we do.
I want to keep this post general and practical because I believe we can do more as a society to guard the gateways but it’s going to take more than just a few people. It’s going to take us all.
What can Gatekeepers do?
Gatekeepers can be safe people. They can provide safe spaces (physically and metaphorically) for children and young people. They can notice children and encourage and support them. They can build childrens’ self esteem and resilience gently and consistently.
Gatekeepers can ask children how they are. They can remember their answers and talk to them in the future. They can be part of a child’s support network in the community. They can know who to turn to if they think a child needs additional help (parent, school, GP, social worker etc). They can act when they need to to help children.
Gatekeepers can model healthy emotional responses. They can demonstrate that it’s ok to have feelings. They can talk honestly about their own emotions and how they have experienced and dealt with them in an appropriate way. They can talk about feeling overwhelmed and how to walk that journey. They can show children how to calm themselves when they feel things are too much and where to go for help if they need it.
Gatekeepers can give children opportunities to overcome. They can be positive about new things, new ideas and new experiences. They can help children to feel proud of their achievements. They can give children the gift of their time. They can help children to know what their limits are and how to stay safe.
Gatekeepers can be part of a bigger picture. They can emphasise that children do not have to feel alone. They can give children the space they need during difficult times. They can give them chance to grieve if they need to. They can be the safety net that catches children when they fall. They can show children it’s ok to be themselves.
Gatekeepers can love children well. They might be parents, teachers, neighbours, youth workers, social workers, librarians, shop workers, volunteers, sports coaches, Scout or Guide leaders, or anyone at all who knows children in a trusted and healthy relationship.
Gatekeepers can intentionally think about the mental health and wellbeing of the children they meet. I want to be a gatekeeper. I want us all to be gatekeepers. Let’s not let a child slip through our fingers.
ourhappysummer 